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How an Ending Feels

by Busy Living

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1.
Year Three 01:21
You're afraid to touch anything but spoiled pavement I've been driving these winding back roads I know you smell cigarettes on my breath We can talk about home and our parent's health I've been too tired to figure you out And way too reckless to hold on to doubt I've been too tired to figure you out And way too reckless to hold on to doubt
2.
Townline 03:58
Three years ago I lost my mind on a concrete floor No love, no sirens, no low lights on a couch Days that I swore I'd never write about Make sure your doors locked We wouldn't want your father here with us We swam upstream on a love seat A cloudy era firing, synapses repeat I found for all of this It's in these words in the air they kiss I'm feeling lonely I feel cold down to my feet Are you feeling lonely? Do you see me in your sleep? I tried to figure out How that old oak survived the drought It sways back and forth like it's dying on its toes But I'm not done yet I've still got some fight left It's kind of funny how fast a wallflower grows From a seed to drunken petals falling on the floor I’m like a silent movie That you’ve heard But you’ve never seen I wrote you a pure blood screenplay And my guts went straight for the ending I tried to figure out How that old oak survived the drought It sways back and forth like it's dying on its toes But I'm not done yet I've still got some fight left Three years ago I lost my mind on a concrete floor No love, no sirens, no low lights on a couch Days that I swore I'd never write about This summer breeze It took us both by storm With undiscerning ease This time it’s different This time it’s different I tried to figure out How that old oak survived the drought It sways back and forth like it's dying on its toes But I'm not done yet I've still got some fight left
3.
Blankets 03:12
Covered up with blankets Maybe I’ll hibernate for the winter Days get shorter by the second Being home just makes me miss her Those freezing nights in my car Our breath facing the defroster You pull your knees into your chest I put my heart out on the dashboard Cutthroat sunsets I’m just ashamed that you’re not hear for it My hands and my tongue Have never felt so sick Take me back to Konstantine and thick coats A steady income of snow and icy roads I’m not being resentful I’m just letting go You had me hook, line, and sinker Couldn’t even see you had me wrapped around your finger We built these bridges They’re only as strong as these bones that fits so well Hammers they wont stop tearing These broken boards that keep us apart A structure bound with such a meaning We were destined from the start Cutthroat sunsets I’m just ashamed that you’re not hear for it My hands and my tongue Have never felt so sick Take me back to Konstantine and thick coats A steady income of snow and icy roads I’m not being resentful I’m just letting go I’m not cut out for the West Coast I need changing seasons I need a new coat I want my car to stall on New Year’s I like my fingers in white I’m not cut out for the West Coast I need changing seasons I need a new coat I want my car to stall on New Year’s I like my fingers in white You found out every flaw in me And exploited them for every one to see Now I’m finding out I’m better than all of this You drain every single word I breathe They flow through the air And only thing I had Was lost in the atmosphere that night Was lost in the atmosphere that night Cutthroat sunsets I’m just ashamed that you’re not hear for it My hands and my tongue Have never felt so sick Take me back to Konstantine and thick coats A steady income of snow and icy roads I’m not being resentful I’m just letting go
4.
Young Veins 03:48
Clothes on your floor will free you of guilt Your lipstick on sheets can help you forget Am I the ghost in your halls? Or the corpse in your closet? The doc says I’ve lost it You say I’ve lost myself But I watched you lose everyone that you ever cared about (So I’m calling you out) Twelve story buildings You find so fulfilling And I can still tell your smile is fake You’re good on your toes But no one can see Just be honest with me And I’ll cut you a break You were the gravity Holding me down I was the plane crash heading nowhere south These past few years They’re so dead to me So I compiled all your fears into melody Don’t learn this and sing with me You’re always one step ahead of me Don’t learn this and sing with me (Repetition for irony) You’re one step ahead of me Twelve story buildings You find so fulfilling And I can still tell your smile is fake You’re good on your toes But no one can see That your eyes still flood like a lake (Flood like a lake) You’ve been so reckless I’ve been a mess Let’s trade places for old time’s sake (Old Time’s sake) You’re good on your toes But no one can see Just be honest with me And I’ll cut you a break You danced away the headaches And I wrote away the heartache I wish we never kissed I wish we never fucked I wish we never met I wish we never touched Twelve story buildings You find so fulfilling And I can still tell your smile is fake You’re good on your toes But no one can see That your eyes still flood like a lake (Flood like a lake) You’ve been so reckless I’ve been a mess Let’s trade places for old time’s sake (Old Time’s sake) You’re good on your toes But no one can see Just be honest with me And I’ll cut you a break Cut you a break
5.
Sewn Up 03:59
Ties have been breaking But maybe it’s due to the fact That you broke down my will And you fucked with my head It’s a long drive home I’ll make sure I crash using cruise control Everyone I know Can vouch for my indifference When I’m feeling low I’m make sure that I’m distant Don’t make me into something I’m not Don’t make me into something I’m not Ties have been breaking But maybe it’s due to the fact That you broke down my will And you fucked with my head But I need to feel something And I’m sick of feeling dead This year might go faster I’m happy and bitter instead And when you find the time to grow up I’ll be happily sewn up And when you find the time to grow up I’ll be happily sewn up (Happily sewn up) Make no mistake I’m coming for your pride You know I gave up mine When you ruined me And gutted my insides I’m losing faith in everyone around me I’m finding solace in new broken boundaries So now take all these words that I wrote If you’re choked up get ink on your throat So you can show everyone back home Someone used to love you But now you’re on your own Ties have been breaking But maybe it’s due to the fact That you broke down my will And you fucked with my head But I need to feel something And I’m sick of feeling dead This year might go faster I’m happy and bitter instead And when you find the time to grow up I’ll be happily sewn up And when you find the time to grow up I’ll be happily sewn up Make no mistake I’m coming for your pride Make no mistake I’m coming for your pride While you’re waiting You count the wolves I’ll take the sheep I think it’s fucking time I get some sleep
6.
Circadian 02:55
Do you remember the summer that fucked us up? We drove every Sunday it was never enough I felt like the world was finally alright You’re only escape my only fair fight The summers don’t feel the same now My sleeping patterns aren’t something to envy And I feel like I’m losing my last grip On the one thing I wanted to be I was never strong enough To hold us together To keep us held up So I’ll stay out of the city You’re happy in college I’m lost and alone You used to call me a monster I told you I swear that my blood runs warm But lately I can’t even feel What’s running through my veins The summers don’t feel the same now My sleeping patterns aren’t something to envy And I feel like I’m losing my last grip On the one thing I wanted to be I was never strong enough To hold us together To keep us held up So I’ll stay out of the city You’re happy in college I’m lost and alone Do you remember the summer that made us who we are? Despite all your strife City life hasn’t saved me But there’s one thing I’ll never pity (We’re fighting the same fight) It’s the way that you feel when you hear all these songs (And I’m far from happy) I was never strong enough To hold us together To keep us held up So I’ll stay out of the city You’re happy in college I’m lost and alone
7.
Belleview 03:17
I spent the worst part of three years screaming into a notebook It only forced you away And kept me insane Warm blood and young veins Mean everything I wished wolves on you And for that I’m truly sorry That old oak stands But it’s an honest horror story When you left I knew that something real was missing Now I never want to feel that way again Fate is real and people change I find myself exploiting names My only answer is that I lost Myself when all I knew was us I’m still not in love with sand, West coast beaches, holding hands We still have our work cut out To thaw out my Midwest mouth Dear I know its been unreal But this is how an ending feels When you left I knew that something real was missing Now I never want to feel that way again I’ll make this all right We’ll both be alright My words can cut right But now they’ll sit right Now I see you in everything (Find what you love and let it make you) But I’d give most anything (No matter how long it may take) And I’ll take this all back (Find what you love and let it make you) Just to fix what we had (No matter how long it may take)

credits

released October 28, 2014

Recorded, Mixed, & Mastered by Derek Moffat at 608 Studios.
Produced by Jacob Lee, Derek Moffat, & Busy Living.

Guest vocals by Brianna Jackson for track "Circadian".

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Busy Living Oshkosh, Wisconsin

Pop Punk band out of Wisconsin.

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